Getting into the dating game early made comedian Gianmarco Soresi realize how long life can really be — and how ruined a song can get. In his formative years, when Gianmarco still had a crush on Baby Spice and her pigtails, his second-grade girlfriend (and we’re using that term loosely) broke his heart. He’s never heard the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe” quite the same again.
Links:
If you liked listening to Gianmarco Soresi’s story of a song an ex ruined, you’ll really like watching his stand-up set on The Late Late Show with James Corden or listening to his podcast, The Downside.
If you want to know more about Courtney’s adventures working at MTV, she wrote a piece about her year at the VMAs with Mark Ronson.
Courtney really hates all the music from TRL and thinks you should listen to this playlist of her favorite ‘80s songs instead.
Courtney also hates Drake and is happy to give you another reason to dislike him, beyond Gianmarco calling his music boring.
Show highlights:
00:05: Gianmarco reveals the song an ex ruined and the agonizing story
06:44: Why the gay guys in boy bands are always the ones to have a crush on
10:49: When did you develop your own taste in music as a kid?
14:10: Working at MTV and why Carson Daly is alright
18:21: Gianmarco tells us about being in Hustlers…and then tries to convince us Limp Bizkit is a good band with “some hits”
Transcript:
Courtney: Today we have Gianmarco Soresi. It sounds like crazy. That’s the best way to remember anyone’s name I’ve maybe ever heard. So Gianmarco, thank you so much for coming to the podcast. Please tell us about a song that your ex ruined.
Gianmarco Soresi: The song that an ex ruined is “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls.
Melissa: How old were you?
Courtney: Yeah?
Gianmarco Soresi: Quite young! Second grade. I started the dating game early.
Melissa: Wow.
Gianmarco Soresi: No physical contact at all. Not even handholding. I don’t even think hugs. But I think I was just a romantic. So, it was second grade. I just moved to a, a new school and I, I met a girl named Caroline. And Caroline came from a more conservative family.
Courtney: Okay.
Gianmarco Soresi: Definitely not a family that was like, “Cool, our, our second-grade daughters going on a date.”
Melissa: I have some, a few questions, but I’ll hold my questions till the end.
Gianmarco Soresi: I mean, this was prime Spice Girls. I owned Spice World on VHS. I think this was their first album. So it was just, it was huge. It was gigantic. They had exploded and in that way that’s, you know, strange. They exploded with adults and with children, all the way down. We all had our — was, I was, a Baby Spice guy. I was always, that was my favorite…
Courtney: Oh, that’s very cute.
Gianmarco Soresi: …at an early early age. age.
Melissa: Did you have the pigtails?
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, with the pigtails and the lollipop in a way that was like, just, I don’t know, very, I don’t know. I don’t know. Uh…
Courtney: Very normal, not creepy, and also definitely put this on your dating profile at some point.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yes, exactly. Exactly. And, um, uh, I… somehow, my dad got tickets, this was in D.C. And my dad was also dating at the time. My parents are, are many times divorced, so my dad and I decided we’d go on a, on a double date.
Courtney: Wow, this is highly romantic and completely weird.
Gianmarco Soresi: Much, much, much better than now when I go on a double date with my dad and his girlfriends are usually younger than mine. This was back in a time when, fortunately, fortunately, that was not the case. So…
Melissa: But this is a great opportunity for us to say Better Help should definitely sponsor us, because I feel like some of our guests could use a little therapy to talk this stuff through. Like if you’re going on dates with your dad, maybe talk about it.
Gianmarco Soresi: This woman would end up being my first stepmom. Not, not my, the person I was seeing, the person my dad was seeing. So, so we asked her parents, and her parents were just horrified. Her parents just thought like, “Oh, we don’t have to deal with this until high school.” They said yes, but they had one very firm rule: She had to be home by 10. And, uh…
Courtney: That’s really late for second grade. That feels like a, a late night date. This was like their one rule for the concert specifically? Or, or…?
Gianmarco Soresi: Just in general. I think, like they were like, I cannot believe this is happening. And also my dad was not like, oh, my dad will be there so it’ll be cool. My dad was like, not the ideal dad. He was divorced, dating. He wore a leather jacket and tank tops, so I’m amazed that they let her do it, but I imagine that she was like, “I have to see the Spice Girls, please.” And that might be late for second grade, but that’s quite early for a concert.
Courtney: For sure. And this would’ve been a stadium show, right? Like where did you go to the concert at?
Gianmarco Soresi: I forget the name of it, but it was a, it was a massive — we were seated all the way in the back, like in the lawn where it’s just grass. They’re like, “We don’t even bother to put chairs here. We know you’ll buy it.”
Melissa: You said you were in D.C.? So probably Merriweather Post.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa: I’ve seen many shows there and sitting on the lawn.
Courtney: The lawn is the best place to be.
Gianmarco Soresi: It was good. Good for a date for sure.
Courtney: Good for a date.
Melissa: Spread out a blanket.
Gianmarco Soresi: And I don’t know who was opening, I feel like it was a boy band. Like I don’t know if it was like LFAO, LFO, LFO, is that what they’re called?
Courtney: LFO. Mm-hmm.
Gianmarco Soresi: like that. Maybe I’m wrong. But it felt like there was like a boy band open.
Courtney: Nice.
Gianmarco Soresi: And then…
Courtney: Classic pairing.
Gianmarco Soresi: I was expecting to, to watch most of the concert because it’s supposed to start at eight. But basically, the Spice Girls came on stage right around the time to go mark.
Melissa: No.
Courtney: Oh no.
Gianmarco Soresi: So we had to leave as the Spice Girls were coming on stage for the first time, and…
Courtney: That’s heartbreaking.
Gianmarco Soresi: …all I remember was like literally leaving right as I believe it’s, I believe it’s Melanie B was singing. “Yo, I tell you what I want / what I really, really want,” which they were opening the show with. And all I wanted was to stay at that concert. It, it destroyed that song for me.
Gianmarco Soresi: And I even got a letter the next day that I, I did save from Caroline. And it says, “Dear Gianni,” which was my nickname in middle school. “I would just like to thank you for taking me to the Spice Girls concert. I have been singing their songs for weeks. The poster your dad bought for me is hanging up on my door so I can see it whenever I walk into my room. I had the best time ever. Your friend, Caroline.”
Melissa: No.
Courtney: Well, she let you down easy. At least that was pretty, pretty mature for a second grade. What, you’re seven in second grade, usually? That’s, is that
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah. Yeah, that…
Courtney: That’s pretty, that’s a pretty advanced breakup letter for a seven-year-old.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, I would imagine her mom or dad wrote this. I imagine her dad wrote this letter and signed her name.
Courtney: Do you still have the letter?
Gianmarco Soresi: I, I have a picture of it. I don’t know if I have the physical copy, but maybe I do cuz I took this picture. But you can see, you can see that she signed it because she signed it in the cursive that we were learning at that time.
Courtney: This is like heartbreaking.
Melissa: Do you think it was her dad who was like “your friend”? Like, I’m going to make this extremely clear. It is your friend, not your girlfriend. Not love, not XOXO. Like there’s a firm Christian line in the sand going right here.
Gianmarco Soresi: That’s what I think I, I’m sure that he wished he had typed “your friend in Christ, Caroline.”
Melissa: Peace be with you and also with you.
Gianmarco Soresi: And that same year she ended up leaving me, whatever that means in the context of this relationship. She left me for another guy named Steven, who recently came out of the closet.
Courtney: I can relate to that. I was the girl who always, my, my, my favorite member of any boy band was the one that later came out of the closet. So there’s something about that sort of like non-aggressive, easygoing, low stakes guy in the group that’s like very appealing.
Gianmarco Soresi: You were like, “I’m gonna marry Lance Bass. Lance Bass and I, we’re gonna hook up all night long.”
Courtney: Hundred percent.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah. It was very strange cause I, I feel like most men, or boys, who go to Spice Girls concerts in second grade and whose favorite Spice Girl is Baby Spice have come out by the time they’re my age. But that’s not the case for me. I think it’s, this was a, a very peculiar blend of my heteronormative wanting to date a girl and non heteronormative wanting to see Spice Girls. Just a real combination in into one, one fabulous night.
Melissa: Right? It’s like those guys who go to Harry Styles concerts. Like you have an audience full of people who are completely amped up and so excited, and all you need to do is wear a flowery button-down shirt, unbuttoned a little, of course,and you’re in. Whether you’re gay or straight, every guy who wants to hook up should be going to all of these concerts.
Gianmarco Soresi: Of course.
Melissa: Yeah. Or the gay men, I mean,
Courtney: A million percent and there’s a whole conversation to be had about, like, I’ve seen a lot of women on TikTok talking about what women find attractive and why we find these men attractive and why men think we find them attractive and how different those things are. You know, like the sort of non-confrontational of it, the accepting of it, the embracing of the feminine of it. That’s what we like. So all you have to do is show up and embrace your feminine, and girls are gonna be like, “yes, sign me up for that.” What I wanna know about your story is, did you have residual, like hangover feelings every time you heard “Wannabe” after this? Like, does it still bring up the memory of Caroline?
Gianmarco Soresi: I just, I just remember, oh, why’d you… I should say that I cried when we left. I mean, I really, really cried.
Melissa: I would cry.
Gianmarco Soresi: And it, it really just felt like a cruel trick. So, yeah, I think for a while I just, I, I, whenever I heard it, all I could think about was like the thing I didn’t get to see and how I should’ve. I should’ve. I would’ve been fine if my dad left me and took her home. Whatever. I’m done.
Courtney: Well, it’s like you had a double rejection, because you ended up not getting to see the group that you wanted to see. Literally being teased by the song that you were dying to see them perform as you had to leave, and then afterwards, this girl like double whammies you.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, so it just, of, of all the Spice Girls they’re…
Melissa: This girl and her dad, technically.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, the dad is definitely there somewhere. So, I still listen to a lot of Spice Girls, but I, I tend to skip this one. Something about spoiled for me.
Melissa: How do you feel about the song “Sweet Caroline?”
Gianmarco Soresi: I, I, I am changing the words for sure. Sweet is not the adjective I throw.
Courtney: Oh! I remember, the third grade who, named Marcus, who would pick a different girl and chase her around the classroom after recess every day, like after lunchtime and try to kiss her, and everybody…
Melissa: I believe it’s called sexual harassment.
Courtney: Now that’s called sexual assault, but back then it was called, “Oh, isn’t that cute?” And I think that that made me really terrified to get into relationships for like through junior high. I was just like, I don’t know. This is terrible. But had there been a moment like this, where you were bonded over a love of a song or a group, you’re gonna go to the concert together. I mean, I think that would’ve really changed some of my formative experiences. So I’m a little jealous that you got to have that moment, almost like the, the essence of that moment.
Melissa: I, uh, kicked the only boy who ever tried to kiss me in kindergarten.
Courtney: That’s a good, good move. I applaud it.
Melissa: Yeah, I had uh quite the reputation in kindergarten for punching and kicking people.
Gianmarco Soresi: Oh my god.
Courtney: Wow. Wow.
Melissa: I have brothers. What can I say? It was like, “You, you wanna try and kiss me? I don’t think so.”
Courtney: Yeah. No thanks. Well, so this brings up an interesting topic to me that I think about a lot. When do you develop your own taste in music as a kid? Like when do you stop listening to the music your parents listen to you and start finding the Spice Girls? For me, it was Bananarama.
Melissa: “I’m Your Venus.” Nice.
Gianmarco Soresi: I’m a musical theater kid, and I feel like that’s, I, I followed along the trends. I was into all the, the kind of junky pop stuff of my life: the Spice Girls, Backstreet, N’SYNC, and then, Eminem and Limp Biscuit. Like I, TRL did inform my taste for a long, long time, and then I fell in love with musical theater and it’s really warped my, my musical tastes. I had a girlfriend in high school, back when we were burning CDs, and like she burned me a CD of like Bell and Sebastian and romantic songs. And I burned her a CD of my favorite musical theater songs with a letter that gave context for each one of the songs so she could understand how it would fit into the libretto.
Courtney: Wow.
Gianmarco Soresi: And uh, my workout playlist is for me alone. No one, no one is gonna listen to it. No one.
Melissa: How, how exactly does one go from Limp Bizkit to like the Hamilton soundtrack though?
Gianmarco Soresi: Well have just a little, if you listen to to Sweeney Todd…
Melissa: Okay, Les Miz. Let’s Les Miz.
Gianmarco Soresi: Sweeney Todd, Les Miz, there’s a little bit of bangers. There’s a little bit of rage and anger. But I think I like the Limp Bizkits or the Eminem, cause they like had a narrative. Like in a way, Eminem would have like stories and Limp Bizkit, you know, he’d get increasingly mad and then it would climax. And that’s like a very musical theater type thing. Like now, I don’t know. I listen to some Drake now, and it’s all just kind of the same level. It’s all just like “I’m, I’m doing well, I’m doing well, I’m doing well.” I need someone who’s, “I’m fucked up. I’m angry and I’m gonna yell and then we’re out.”
Melissa: So you want the angry, you want the angry stuff. You want the people… you don’t want, like your Lana Del Rays, someone who’s just mad.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, My Chemical Romance for sure.
Courtney: Okay.
Gianmarco Soresi: That stuff. I need someone who’s not in a good place and by the end it’s worse.
Courtney: So, you sound like someone who, what was on MTV, TRL in particular, but maybe MTV more broadly, as like time went on, that really influenced you in the late ’90s and early 2000s.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah. I, I mean this is, this is where Eminem reigns supreme. Making of the music video for the N’SYNC, what’s the one where they were the puppets? Not, “Bye Bye Bye.”
Courtney: “Bye Bye Bye.”
Gianmarco Soresi: In “Bye Bye Bye” they did the dance, but what was the one where they literally, it’s…
Courtney: in the supermarket?
Gianmarco Soresi: “It’s Gonna Be Me.”
Courtney: “It’s Gonna Be Me,” that’s right.
Gianmarco Soresi: Christina Aguilera, I mean, Britney, all that stuff. I’m, I’m excited for Britney’s comeback. Nervous, but excited. We’ll see.
Courtney: Interesting that she paired with Elton John to do a cover for the first song. That’s like a strong choice. Not sure what to make of that completely.
Gianmarco Soresi: It’s a, it’s a pretty safe choice. Just like “I know. For my first song, I’ll just do a song that already was a hint.”
Courtney: Yeah, that everyone loves and already has had a second life and this will be its third, so that’s…
Melissa: She also made a song for everybody and their parents.
Courtney: Exactly. So, I was actually working at MTV during the era you’re talking about. Yeah. And I’ve always wondered — I would’ve been in my early twenties then. I’ve always…
Melissa: Courtney’s responsible for all your taste in music.
Courtney: That’s not true. That’s not true. I did not support any of that music at all. I was a real snob at the time. But I, we were in 1515 in Times Square, and I would hear kids screaming. Specifically when Backstreet, N’SYNC, Eminem, or Britney were there. Those were like the loudest days. Like we were on the 25th floor and you could hear people on the ground yelling. I always wondered how those kids turned out. Like how much of that music did they hold onto? How much did they grow out of? So, you’re my new test audience. Tell me, how much of that did you hold onto?
Gianmarco Soresi: I held onto it so deeply. I just, there’s something about that, that like junky pop music that’s so kind of generic and, and repetitive, but I love it.
Courtney: The Max Martin stuff, like it’s all Max Martin stuff.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, and the dance, I mean, sometimes I have trouble getting into new music. And sometimes when I watch a music video suddenly I’m like, oh, “I, I think it, it enhances it so much.” And back then, the digestion of music videos was so much a part of the music experience that I think it just created attachments to the songs that like, I just don’t get now. I have to really go out of my way to watch a music video. But back then, like that’s just what I was consuming and people like Eminem, like they were, they were bold. They were risky. They like did, like N’SYNC the puppet one? They were cool and inventive and the dancing was so great. I love the dancing.
Courtney: And was, it was an event when those people released a music video. Like you would go home to make sure to see it the first time that it played.
Gianmarco Soresi: And TRL would play it forever. And I always got mad cuz TRL, they always would cut the music video short, like they’d do like a minute and then so they could play more commercials. And I would always be so pissed at Carson Daly, like, why did you cut it off? Before Justin’s dance break?
Courtney: First of all, Carson Daly had nothing to do with it. He had the least control of everyone in the room.
Gianmarco Soresi: Sure. Probably for the best.
Melissa: But, he should get the blame anyway. I feel like he can just be blamed for pretty much anyway.
Courtney: He, he was actually really nice. Of all the VJs, Carson was actually a really nice one. There were some who weren’t, but I’m not gonna name names. Nobody cares anymore. Nobody. Cause nobody cares.
Melissa: Oh, I care. I really wanna know now.
Courtney: But I also have been curious about… once that stuff, like you mentioned Limp Bizkit, but once like Limp Bizkit and Korn and all those bands started infiltrating TRL, it seemed like such an easy fit. Kids didn’t have any problem embracing it, and I always wondered about that dichotomy. Like what about that sort of nu metal, and also the Eminem, all the rage songs just worked fine for them. Right next to all that pop music.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, I, I don’t know. It, it all just felt like part of the same universe. Like Christina Aguilera, I was, I was a fan of her music, and then Eminem kind of, uh, calls her out in his song and Eminem calls out Mariah Carey. It’s so nice, the beef, like, makes it like work together. They’re a part of each other’s world. And so I was just excited to listen to, to every aspect of that.
Courtney: I mean, true. It did feel very insular because of all the time they spent together at TRL and awards shows, and…
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, beefs don’t seem to like cross genres anymore. There’s beefs in like rap. There might be beefs in rock and roll, but you rarely have a beef and rap mixed with like, you know, Shakira. Like, it’s just like, but that would be cool.
Melissa: Oh my God. I would love to see Shakira, just like call out Drake and be like, that’s it.
Courtney: I think Shakira just got arrested for tax evasion or something, so she’s too busy to like get into the beef business. But should she out anyone? It, It…
Gianmarco Soresi: Shakira calls out the IRS.
Courtney: It should be JLo for all the shit that JLo talked in her documentary about Shakira.
Melissa: That’s true, I love…
Gianmarco Soresi: Oh god, I need to see that. I worked with JLo. I was in Hustlers, so I need to…
Courtney: How was that experience?
Gianmarco Soresi: It was so quick. We, we, we, it was a 1:00 AM shoot. She changed into her 20th outfit of the day and given all the circumstances, she was perfectly pleasant.
Courtney: That’s good. Good. I love to hear that.
Melissa: Amazing. I had more of a comment than a question, which is that my cousins were vi- are visiting from Switzerland. And I had never met his wife before. And she told me that her favorite band was Limp Bizkit. And I didn’t know how to respond.
Courtney: I wouldn’t know what to say to that in like any timeline.
Melissa: No. I was just like, “Oh, okay. That’s nice. Anyway.”
Gianmarco Soresi: They had some hits. “Nookie” was a great song.
Melissa: Yeah but…
Gianmarco Soresi: I was singing “Nookie” when I did not know what it…
Courtney: What nookie was?
Gianmarco Soresi: Truly not a thing. Not a thing.
Courtney: It’s one thing to enjoy a song or two, or like, the hit songs of a band. It’s another for them to be your favorite band. Like that’s a, that’s a statement.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yes. Yes.
Melissa: I was completely stunned, cause how can that possibly be the band that you love more than any other band in the entire world, in all of human history? I guarantee you there were some guys hitting rocks together around a campfire back in the caveman era who had more jams. Like, what are you doing? Have you not heard any other music? Anyway.
Courtney: Lot, lots of strong choices being made there. So my, my last question is, you talked about growing up and growing into musical theater soundtracks and really enjoying that. And I love the idea of you putting together a mix tape using those songs. Does that mean that you are a person who really appreciates the lyrics in songs?
Gianmarco Soresi: Yeah, very much so. And that’s also another reason why I struggle with contemporary rap. Not that I know the whole landscape, but like there’s some rap where I’m like, I, I can’t follow what they’re saying. It’s just like, it feels very secondary to the music, and I like hearing the words. Like Eminem, I feel like Eminem, he’s, he’s gone too crazy with some of the rhymes and he, he just seems like someone who like mastered the form and is now just fucking around a little bit too much. But, but yeah, I, I need, I need the words. I need to, I need to know what the song is about. So I, I grew up with, you know, listening to Stephen Sondheim and William Finn and I, I studied those lyrics. I printed out those lyrics. I read them along with the songs. So yes, lyrics are very, very important.
Courtney: Well, so Melissa and I started the, the idea for this podcast came because of us sharing some stories about men in our lives who’ve either, you know, sent us YouTube links to songs or made us mix tapes with songs where they clearly didn’t listen to the lyrics, and it was super creepy. And you’re just like, did you think this is romantic? So we’ve been trying to hash out like do men listen to lyrics? Or do they just respond to melody? Or do they respond to melody over lyrics, and that’s all secondary?
Gianmarco Soresi: To answer your question, men who go to Spice Girls concerts in second grade do listen to lyrics.
Courtney: Nice. Clearly.
Melissa: A great.. Yeah, that seems like a good line. Like, okay, let me ask you of an important question: did you go to Spice World’s concerts in second grade? Cause then I will understand why you sent me this song.
Courtney: If yes, you can make me a mix tape. If no, please go away. Don’t do it. So that’s it. Your, your heartbreak song goes back to second grade and nobody has fucked up any songs for you since then. That’s the, that’s the moment.
Gianmarco Soresi: Yep. the moment moment.
Courtney: That’s pretty impressive. That’s pretty good. That’s a good record.
Gianmarco Soresi: I did it early.
Melissa: That’s good. Get that out of the way, quick and easy. Gianmarco, can you tell us a little bit where people can find you, what other projects you have working on, where you know people can get more deep thoughts on Limp Bizkit and Steven Sondheim and the crossover between.
Gianmarco Soresi: You can find me everywhere online at Gianmarco Soresi. It’s just my name and that’s where I post all my tour dates. I’m pretty much touring every weekend around the country. Otherwise, I’m in New York performing at the, the Comedy Cellar and some other places. So again, Gianmarco Soresi for all that. And then my podcast is called The Downside, uh, where I have guests on, and I encourage them to complain and be negative and reveal all their family secrets. So listen to The Downside or watch it on YouTube, but that’s wherever you get your podcast.
Courtney: So you felt completely prepared to be on this podcast and complain about somebody ruining a song for you.
Gianmarco Soresi: Oh, absolutely. It’s, it’s right on brand.
Courtney: Obviously, Gianmarco is a comedian, as you can tell from today’s conversation. You definitely need to go see him live.
Melissa: Songs My Ex Round is a production of Nevermind Media. Executive Producers are Melissa Locker and Courtney E. Smith. Produced and edited by Stephanie Aguilar. Sound design and theme song by Madeline McCormick. Artwork by Sophie Locker. Additional production support from Casey, Steve, Archer, Bemo, Newton, and all the other good dogs and cats out there.
Courtney: Thanks for joining us for another episode of Songs My Ex Ruined. If you’re enjoying this podcast, giving us a review or a rating on your favorite podcast app would really help. And follow us to get new episodes as soon as they drop.
